I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize