so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
