I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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