Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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