If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
