my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
