Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
