3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize