He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
