yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
no more duck duck goose at the bar
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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