i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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