Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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