we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
