I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
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