PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My penis needs a shock collar
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
