I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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