we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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