I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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