Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
