i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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