Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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