they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
