i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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