I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
