There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
