you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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