I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
