..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
