i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
