Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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