It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
