Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
