ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
