lets start a swedish sibling band together
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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