Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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