my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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