You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
