Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
