Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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