I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize