Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
