just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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