The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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