Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
