my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Randomize
