Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
