Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
