Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize