Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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