I'm pants shitting drunk right now
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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