Plan B is the new Plan A
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize