Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
