I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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