I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
