well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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