so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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