going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
