Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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