I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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