bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
is that a dick in a sweater?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
