Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
