News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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