Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
