Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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