Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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