Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
