I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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