Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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