yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
