Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
